


Freedom

by Burgie



Series: Katja Joins Team Good AU [64]
Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: F/F, F/M, Pain, Self-Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9908498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Jessica goes to the Ice Witch to be freed of her enslavement to Garnok, and tries to apologise for what she's done.





	

Jess tried not to cry out or scream from the pain. It wasn’t like the pain of childbirth, though it was, in a way, making new life. And it wasn’t just pain, either. She could feel the magic more strongly than she’d ever felt it before. She shuddered as runes burned themselves into her skin.

“Why does it hurt so much?” asked Jess, hoping that the Ice Witch wouldn’t be angry at the ditraction.

“At least you’re talking to me,” said the Ice Witch. “Your sister just screamed.”

“I know. She feels things very strongly and doesn’t deal with pain well,” said Jess.

“I noticed,” said the Ice Witch. “In any case, the pain is from the magic dragging you up from the ship and sealing you into that body. Your master doesn’t want to let you go.”

“So the runes are like anchors?” asked Jess, hissing as they burnt into her upper arms.

“Yes. Anchors and protection against possession and of course against your old master,” said the Ice Witch.

“Well, that explains the cold,” said Jess. It seemed wrong that she could be shivering while magic burnt runes into her skin. Her arms looked like a latticework of burns, but she could see the runes if she looked closely enough. They were the same as Katja’s runes.

Thinking about her sister brought guilt crashing down on Jess again. All through her journey, she’d thought of her partner to keep her going while Garnok had made her sick and weak in an attempt to show her that she was nothing without him. It hadn’t worked, of course. Jess had proven to herself that she could be a mother, a grandmother, even a great grandmother. She wasn’t just a…

_Murderer. Baby-killer. Witch. Horrible sister._

“Yes, your sister cried too,” said the Ice Witch. “The pain is quite intense.”

“No, I deserve this,” said Jess. “I deserve to feel even half of what I made her feel.”

“What?” asked the Ice Witch. “Oh, and you don’t need to worry about distracting me, the circle does all the work.”

“She was pregnant and then I scared her and she lost it because I’m such a terrible person,” said Jess, knowing she’d be trembling if only she could move. She was surprised that the tears weren’t freezing on her face. “She had this done, went through all that pain, and then I couldn’t just let her be happy. I had to go and ruin it.”

“Surely doing this will prove that you’re not so bad,” said the Ice Witch.

“But it doesn’t, it just proves that I’m still a selfish bith who can’t just let her be happy!” said Jess. “I always want what she has and I don’t know why!”

“Hmm. Are you the younger sister, perhaps?” asked the Ice Witch.

“No, I’m the oldest,” said Jess.

“Strange,” said the Ice Witch. “Well, think of it this way- she’s a trailblazer, of sorts. She comes up with ideas that you want to do too because they’re good ideas.”

“I guess,” said Jess. “My ideas always seem to end in disaster.”

And then the pain ramped up as it seared into her bones, and Jess screamed as the pain became all she knew. She was only vaguely aware of blankets being wrapped around her shivering form when it was all over.

One of the good things about Shipwreck Shores was that it was significantly warmer than Dino Valley had been. But with the lack of cold, Jess could hear the burning pain in her arms and limbs. The inky black stuff that the Ice Witch had put over the burned-in runes had only soothed them for a small amount of time, and now they were burning again like sunburn. Her bones ached, too.

Running into an electrified forcefield made the earlier aches and burns seem weak in comparison. Jess cried out and collapsed. More lightning lanced through her, and Jess trembled.

“Alex, stop! It’s just Jess,” she heard Katja say, and Jess shivered and got to her feet. Her body still twitched from the lightning, but at least it was evidence that Alex hadn’t used deadly Soul Strike.

“You mean the bitch who made you lose our baby?” asked Alex. She fired another blast at Jess.

“Stop it. Can’t you see she’s hurting?” said Katja, helping Jess to her feet again. The coat that Jess had been wearing slipped off her, revealing the new marks. Katja’s smile broke Jessica’s heart. “You joined our side.”

“No,” said Jess. “I wanted out so I could be free.” Katja understood what hadn’t been said.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here after what you did,” said Alex, clenching her fists. “Do you know what she’s been through?”

“Alex, Lisa told you. It’s harder to conceive after a miscarriage,” said Katja, touching her girlfriend’s arm gently.

“You should never have suffered one in the first place,” said Alex. “And it’s her fault.”

“It was the stress,” said Katja.

“I take full responsibility,” said Jess. “I’ve been beating myself up over it ever since.”

“Well, you should,” said Alex. “It didn’t happen until you threatened her.”

“I didn’t realise what I was saying,” said Jess. “I forgot that Katja wasn’t on our side.”

“Did you?” asked Alex, taking a step closer. “Or did you know how it’d feel?”

“I didn’t know it’d make that happen!” said Jess. “I’m not the one who researched pregnancy tirelessly.”

“Yeah, because you chose someone who could give you babies without magic,” said Katja.

“Not for that purpose,” said Jess. “And you said you wouldn’t tell.”

“Tell what?” asked Alex. “She’s been alive for centuries, it wouldn’t surprise me if she’d had hundreds of kids.”

“Nothing,” said Katja.

“Tell me,” said Alex. Jess didn’t want to, but why did she deserve happiness when she’d taken it from Katja?

“I have a family on South Hoof,” said Jess, feeling like she was betraying some great secret.

“Why is that such a bad thing?” asked Alex. “I won’t hurt them. Have you met me? Family is so important to me. Why should I hurt yours just because you hurt mine?”

“I didn’t mean to,” said Jess. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” More tears dripped from her chin. “I’m sorry. But… why? Why did it scare you that much?”

“I thought Elise would steal my baby as revenge for ‘stealing’ Lighto all those years ago,” said Katja. “She wanted me to look after him because his Light hurt her. But you know how she is. She’d see it as me stealing him, even though she was the one who asked me to take him.”

“I didn’t know,” Jess whispered.

“Yeah, just like you conveniently forgot that stress can cause miscarriages in animals. Your partner oversees a pony herd, Jess. How could you just forget something like that?” said Katja, anger in her voice now.

“I know,” said Jess. “I’m a terrible person.”

“Just go away,” said Katja. She walked back inside with Alex while Jess curled up and cried. Why couldn’t a rain fall to make things more poetic?

Jess didn’t know how much time passed while she lay there crying. But when she felt arms around her, she let warmth creep into her heart.

“Come on,” said the hermit, picking her up. He was strong for someone so elderly. “Let’s get you home.”

“I’m home for good now,” said Jess as he rowed home. Home. This was her home now. Tendrils of happiness and comfort started to creep through the darkness. Even if she didn’t deserve it… the hermit was here. He would always be here.


End file.
